Intentions for the New Year
Many of us go into the New Year with resolutions. As a pretty driven, Type A person myself, I can understand the yearning for future improvements and achievements, but for some reason the word "resolution" seems cliche to me and I end up resisting the common path for goal setting because of it. Although I know the meaning of resolution, according to the Oxford Dictionary, is to make "a firm decision to do or not to do something." It's other meaning is to "solve a problem." I have a hard time with such finality of any issue since as human beings it is typically healthier to strive for progress and growth rather than find and determine a final answer for almost anything.
What I am comfortable with is the word "intention," which means to "aim or set a plan." It also means the "healing process of a wound." Now that feels more genuine and relevant. Is it essentially the same as resolution? Yes, but an intention sits much easier with me and helps motivate me toward greatness, so intentions are what I will set. As I began turning my passion for helping others into a company, I promised myself that I would stay true to what feels authentic and real as I try to best guide my clients and readers. In that promise, is a commitment to practice my own instructions, to be vulnerable enough to share some of my own struggles and successes as we get to know one another, and to remain as centered and focused on what is best for my clients and myself as a practitioner.
As a psychologist and coach, there is often a great deal of pressure to present yourself as perfectly put together. I am not perfect and am much happier and more at ease knowing that I don't have to pretend to be at this point in my life. Instead of pretending and putting up a facade, I want to make sure that my audience can deeply relate to me and know that we are in this journey towards personal growth together. With that, I will share some of my personal intentions for the year:
1) Focus on Gratitude - I have started a new gratitude journal that I regularly jot notes in about my various blessings. My children are written first on every page because my intention to strive for greatness has always been motivated by them. After that, I write whatever it is I truly feel connected to and appreciative of in my life. Somedays it is my family and friends for supporting me when I am grumpy or a moment that strikes me as particularly beautiful and noteworthy; other days it is a new perspective or strength I have found to get through my own struggles. Whatever you are thankful for, the practice of finding the positive helps us to identify it more easily during times of strife.
2) Take the Higher Road - In my gratitude journal, I also wrote a list of words that I will strive to live by this year...and hopefully beyond. Love, Grace, Kindness, Compassion, Intention, Mercy, Gratitude - these are powerful concepts, each with their own benefits. I recognize that I will still make mistakes, but setting these as the standard, the intention, for myself helps me avoid or recover from slips more successfully. Remember, it is not making errors that we should fear, it is not learning or recovering from them that is far more concerning. My commitment is to be present during each personal interaction I have throughout the day so that I can truly connect rather than letting the day happen to me. One of the books that helped me to shape this intention was The Wisdom of Sundays by Oprah Winfrey. Just click on the title if you are interested in purchasing a copy. I do my best to make your life easy. :)
3) Let Go! - For the love of all that is sacred, I will let go of the situations in my life that drag me down and prevent me from moving forward. This goes for people, career issues, doubts, insecurities, negative thought processes - anything that does not help me live within the mindset I explained above. Can you tell this one isn't easy for me? I often feel responsible for others since my profession revolves around it and feel guilty giving up on almost anything, but sometimes we need to recognize when things aren't meant for us and come to an understanding that the healthiest choice is to let it go. As a control freak by nature, I have always thought that I could change an outcome if I just worked harder - wrong! Sometimes we need to let go and have faith that sometimes one situation doesn't work out how we planned, not because we didn't do enough or didn't deserve it, but because something better is waiting just around the corner. Another book recommendation, pardon the title, is The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, by Marc Manson. If you are particularly conservative, it's not for you. If you can handle it, it's brilliant.
4) Invest in Myself - My last intention is to put the energy I have been expending on all of those things I am trying to let go of and put it back into me. Do you see how these intentions all funnel into each other? Wasted energy needs to be rerouted into something more productive. I see this intention as having several different meanings for me, the obvious being self-care. If you aren't prioritizing yourself, your health, and your overall well-being, than you are showing the world your lack of self-worth and you won't have the strength to take care of others. Don't expect anyone else to think highly of you or take care of you when you don't even think highly of yourself. It also means that financially I am willing to commit a reasonable amount of money that it will take to provide support for my self-care and my growing practice. I have faith that this money will be well spent and will grow in abundance because of my genuine love and passion for supporting others growth towards their highest level of being.
I hope that sharing my own intentions encourages you to think about yours for the coming months or year. Before setting your intentions, make sure you are focused on challenges that legitimately resonate with you rather than "resolutions" you are supposed to have based on others expectations or desires for you. Don't forget to breakdown any larger commitments into smaller chunks and create a plan so that you don't feel overwhelmed and are better able to follow through. Then, share them with your family and friends to help hold you accountable. When you step off your chosen path, don't be discouraged, just get back on your trail as soon as you can. Dig deep, find what is true, and set your heart on manifesting it in this coming year. Should you need some extra help, I am here to support and guide you into making 2018 our best year yet!
